Alive
I’d say I’m sorry for abandoning this blog for so long, but I’m not, I just wasn’t in the mood for it. I’m not in the mood now either, but I feel like writing something.
I’ve got an awful headache past few days, I keep thinking about life and love, I smile but I don’t feel like it. I wouldn’t call my state depression, I just find it difficult to be truly happy. Maybe it has something to do with the fact, that I can’t fall asleep before midnight and even then it’s with some difficulties. I’m ready to do ten things at once and then I suddenly feel like not doing anything at all. There are times I want to cry so much, but I can’t make myself.
I’ve never been this moody before. It’s like there’s this creature inside me and it’s doing things to me. It’s eating me from the inside. It’s hard to explain and not sound like a very crazy person. At least I’ve still my dearest All-American Rejects. I know most of their songs by heart now, but their charm still works and I can’t stop listening to it. I actually gave a try today, I turned on different band, but after three or four songs I had to stop it. There wasn’t the sense that they’re talking to me which I’ve got when listening to AAR.
School is still surprisingly good. It’s just… the same all the time. I feel I need some change. Like get different timetable every week. I know, it’s crazy, but doing the same things week after week is something I forgot and sometimes (but only sometimes) it’s so hard. I feel like my life’s grey instead of green which it used to be.
Well, maybe you’ll hear from me soon, maybe not… I’m making no promises. Have fun.
Laghairt 